I took my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I could smell remnants of perfume on my right wrist, and my eyes burned under my eyelids. I took a deep breath and shivered. I was barefoot in the unfinished basement; my crossed feet peeked out from long jeans. God, I need to paint my toenails. They look dead and blue without the splotches of color. Of course they always turned out splotchy; the left foot more than my right. Right handed.

I relaxed my neck and let the full weight of my head sink into my hands, pressing my elbows onto the table. I exhaled. When my lungs started to burn from the lack of oxygen, I took a breath. Shit.

Not caring tonight. Not caring about the crap I have to stuff in boxes, not caring about the $2.50 I owe the CUD library, and not caring about the mysterious pain in my right calf muscle.

"The gastrocnemious muscle responds well to ice, and strains more when running up hills."

Good to know.

Parents bought diapers for the freaking dog today. Diapers. I'm trying to decide which grosses me out more: the fact that the dog is wearing diapers, or the fact that she is actually on a menstrual cycle. Ugh.

I am going to die within the next 3 years. I can feel it. Depressing? Not really. I just feel unsure. That's the scariest part.