Yep.
Raise your hand if you are also one of the douches that has to work today.
Wow, this sucks.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
To live as thus
I've grown up with my identity being 95% based on my religion. A religion, as it would seem, that has become a ginormous mystery to me. I've grown up incredibly confused, religon-wise. Honestly, my religion followed that of my parents...and whatever stakes they put down as to 'WHAT' we were. This I embraced wholly because of the way in which I was raised--this came first. The ministry comes first. And while those larger ideas were all great, I eventually lost passion for it because IT WASN'T MINE. And I knew this all along.
I lost a passion for it when I was old enough to start really applying it to life---and what would life be like without tragedy, ey? This 'religion' I was affiliated with and moi slammed into a brick wall in high school --with the appropriate mini-tragedies that follow suit.
When I could NO LONGER apply what had been a part of my life to such situations, I fell into a proverbial pit of despair. People closest to me were suffering, and I had lost all words of comfort--because what I WAS could no longer be applied. My 'talents' were useless. In their last leg of trying to appear 'normal,' their true selves were unmasked. 17 years. In their truth, my lack of sincerity in belief was revealed for all to see.
However, I haven't been stripped clean of such beliefs--pieces remain that I truly hold onto--whether for the sake of tradition (as I know it), or because I see genuine truth in what they are. Its as if I dreamed of mountains upon mountains of treasure...and have awoken with a single gold coin in my hand.
All of this haunts me...
I've grown up with my identity being 95% based on my religion. A religion, as it would seem, that has become a ginormous mystery to me. I've grown up incredibly confused, religon-wise. Honestly, my religion followed that of my parents...and whatever stakes they put down as to 'WHAT' we were. This I embraced wholly because of the way in which I was raised--this came first. The ministry comes first. And while those larger ideas were all great, I eventually lost passion for it because IT WASN'T MINE. And I knew this all along.
I lost a passion for it when I was old enough to start really applying it to life---and what would life be like without tragedy, ey? This 'religion' I was affiliated with and moi slammed into a brick wall in high school --with the appropriate mini-tragedies that follow suit.
When I could NO LONGER apply what had been a part of my life to such situations, I fell into a proverbial pit of despair. People closest to me were suffering, and I had lost all words of comfort--because what I WAS could no longer be applied. My 'talents' were useless. In their last leg of trying to appear 'normal,' their true selves were unmasked. 17 years. In their truth, my lack of sincerity in belief was revealed for all to see.
However, I haven't been stripped clean of such beliefs--pieces remain that I truly hold onto--whether for the sake of tradition (as I know it), or because I see genuine truth in what they are. Its as if I dreamed of mountains upon mountains of treasure...and have awoken with a single gold coin in my hand.
All of this haunts me...
Brighter than Sunshine
Damn it, I love Aqualung so much. Brighter than Sunshine...this song will be playing during my wedding montage. This sounds SICK and SAD, but its true. Just listen to it, and you will freakin KNOW.
Matisyahu WILL take over the world, and I cannot wait for this.
Today I love: online banking. Yep. I made car payments and credit card payments in my UNDERWEAR...on CHRISTMAS. Fuckin a, people!
Allison---guess who called me last night??? YEP. NOT kidding. Call me when you want details.
Damn it, I love Aqualung so much. Brighter than Sunshine...this song will be playing during my wedding montage. This sounds SICK and SAD, but its true. Just listen to it, and you will freakin KNOW.
Matisyahu WILL take over the world, and I cannot wait for this.
Today I love: online banking. Yep. I made car payments and credit card payments in my UNDERWEAR...on CHRISTMAS. Fuckin a, people!
Allison---guess who called me last night??? YEP. NOT kidding. Call me when you want details.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
I'm yours and certainly you're mine...
So Aqualung is being released in the US in January. Number ONE, I'm glad I won't have to pay for an IMPORT, but I am PISSED at the fact that douchey, mtv people are going to start loving this man. BITCHES.
Matt called last night, and that was fabulous. He's in Birmingham with the fam for the holiday.
For the holiday, of course. So at work we have to post EVERY single Christmas card we receive, and I have taken sick pleasure in throwing the ones away we've gotten this week. Not kidding.
I have an odd but serious desire to watch ENCINO MAN. Not later. Not tomorrow. RIGHT NOW.
Willy Wonka.
So Aqualung is being released in the US in January. Number ONE, I'm glad I won't have to pay for an IMPORT, but I am PISSED at the fact that douchey, mtv people are going to start loving this man. BITCHES.
Matt called last night, and that was fabulous. He's in Birmingham with the fam for the holiday.
For the holiday, of course. So at work we have to post EVERY single Christmas card we receive, and I have taken sick pleasure in throwing the ones away we've gotten this week. Not kidding.
I have an odd but serious desire to watch ENCINO MAN. Not later. Not tomorrow. RIGHT NOW.
Willy Wonka.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
David Fincher
My guts are officially fucked. Tried eating some chicken and rice crap, but it most definitely did NOT hit the spot. Ugh.
I think I'm going to throw on a hat and head down to Parker to pick up the rest of my crap from the rent's house.
I feel as though I am not living my own life right now...but watching it, instead. Its as if I don't have to hold myself accountable for anything, almost. Granted, I do what I should: work, pay bills, etc. But I definitely feel like I am operating on auto-pilot...the real me is watching all of this happen from the sidelines. Its as though I ACT first, and then I can make the appropriate commentary post-action...
Eh.
ISO real food...
My guts are officially fucked. Tried eating some chicken and rice crap, but it most definitely did NOT hit the spot. Ugh.
I think I'm going to throw on a hat and head down to Parker to pick up the rest of my crap from the rent's house.
I feel as though I am not living my own life right now...but watching it, instead. Its as if I don't have to hold myself accountable for anything, almost. Granted, I do what I should: work, pay bills, etc. But I definitely feel like I am operating on auto-pilot...the real me is watching all of this happen from the sidelines. Its as though I ACT first, and then I can make the appropriate commentary post-action...
Eh.
ISO real food...
Saturday, December 18, 2004
*insert obligatory hug here*
Snow Patrol is fabulous. ALSO---So excited about Aqualung FINALLY releasing his record in the US this year. If he gets on MTV, I WILL BE PISSED BEYOND BELIEF.
Shopping will Allison last night--found my holiday party dress within the first 20 minutes we were at the mall. Allison's dress for Doug's b-day is STRIKING. Knock 'em dead.
Date with Andy tonight--we'll see how this goes. We're thinking good things, in general.
I need to clean out my car. This afternoon it WILL happen.
Launch the lunch...
Snow Patrol is fabulous. ALSO---So excited about Aqualung FINALLY releasing his record in the US this year. If he gets on MTV, I WILL BE PISSED BEYOND BELIEF.
Shopping will Allison last night--found my holiday party dress within the first 20 minutes we were at the mall. Allison's dress for Doug's b-day is STRIKING. Knock 'em dead.
Date with Andy tonight--we'll see how this goes. We're thinking good things, in general.
I need to clean out my car. This afternoon it WILL happen.
Launch the lunch...
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Never gonna stop
What up, people? Today was HARSH. Was up way too late last night for the *last night of Hanukkah* festivities. The parents bought me a big tube for my apartment--as opposed to the 13-incher I was sportin from my dorm days. SO SAD. Now I'm livin up-sty-o.
I strained my left calf BIG time on Monday for my non-Allison workout. See what you made me DO, ALLISON?!? I just can't workout without ya. :) Jay kay. Speaking of, Allison received the best *boyfriend* gifts this year thus far. Color me jealous, and just NOT as moisturized.
IPSO FACTO
Missing Kyle. EXCITED about the house.
Love the phone.
Cheated a bit today on the ol' intake--damn you, See's Chocolates! I hate this season. WHAT DEMONRY!
Was asked today why my "work area" was lacking in festive-ness--i.e. devoid of any and all greenery and x-mas crap. I retorted with the whole Hanukkah thing, and the fact that I don't *do* holiday decor...followed by a hardy dirty look to wrap it all up. I think the message was received.
ANYWHO...I am hittin the hay early tonight--thinking 9:30 so I can make an early rise and jump on the treadmill pre-shower.
Goodnight, lovelies.
What up, people? Today was HARSH. Was up way too late last night for the *last night of Hanukkah* festivities. The parents bought me a big tube for my apartment--as opposed to the 13-incher I was sportin from my dorm days. SO SAD. Now I'm livin up-sty-o.
I strained my left calf BIG time on Monday for my non-Allison workout. See what you made me DO, ALLISON?!? I just can't workout without ya. :) Jay kay. Speaking of, Allison received the best *boyfriend* gifts this year thus far. Color me jealous, and just NOT as moisturized.
IPSO FACTO
Missing Kyle. EXCITED about the house.
Love the phone.
Cheated a bit today on the ol' intake--damn you, See's Chocolates! I hate this season. WHAT DEMONRY!
Was asked today why my "work area" was lacking in festive-ness--i.e. devoid of any and all greenery and x-mas crap. I retorted with the whole Hanukkah thing, and the fact that I don't *do* holiday decor...followed by a hardy dirty look to wrap it all up. I think the message was received.
ANYWHO...I am hittin the hay early tonight--thinking 9:30 so I can make an early rise and jump on the treadmill pre-shower.
Goodnight, lovelies.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Trying to be where you are...
I've done this before.
Fabulous of times this weekend--way too short. Hanukkah festivities with parents on Erev. Headed over to Jon's on Sat. for Sueski's house party. Love the Volvo. Just returned this afternoon.
NOT wanting to go back to work this weekend---I could use a VaykAY.
We're getting a house this time next year...badass.
So tired.
I need to find pants.
I've done this before.
Fabulous of times this weekend--way too short. Hanukkah festivities with parents on Erev. Headed over to Jon's on Sat. for Sueski's house party. Love the Volvo. Just returned this afternoon.
NOT wanting to go back to work this weekend---I could use a VaykAY.
We're getting a house this time next year...badass.
So tired.
I need to find pants.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
I never really wanted you to see...
Damn, I'm tired. Resisted temptation today. I am on a freakin roll.
Purchased clothes. I am TRES excited about the oatmeal pants.
Date tomorrow? FIGHT on Saturday. Fuckin A.
Les is moving out here with me, as well. I'm looking at houses. This is the time...
Can't keep my eyes open any longer.
Damn, I'm tired. Resisted temptation today. I am on a freakin roll.
Purchased clothes. I am TRES excited about the oatmeal pants.
Date tomorrow? FIGHT on Saturday. Fuckin A.
Les is moving out here with me, as well. I'm looking at houses. This is the time...
Can't keep my eyes open any longer.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
His chest just looked so...CHESTY.
Dear L-rd, Allison's comments never cease to amuse.
I'm telling you, this summer is the summer of them ALL. Work that shit.
Anywho...work blazed by today. Lots of shit done. I'm satisfied.
Eli is making biscuits right now at 9:30 in the pm.
Watched the end of the Swan tonight tres ZONED. But is there any other way to watch this shit? I think not.
Dear L-rd, Allison's comments never cease to amuse.
I'm telling you, this summer is the summer of them ALL. Work that shit.
Anywho...work blazed by today. Lots of shit done. I'm satisfied.
Eli is making biscuits right now at 9:30 in the pm.
Watched the end of the Swan tonight tres ZONED. But is there any other way to watch this shit? I think not.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Grand Night for Singing
Well. This weekend. Wow.
High-tailed it to Jon's post-work on Friday afternoon. HOUSE warming partaay time. Hit Safeway for mixers and some grub-wage a few hours before the rest of the crew came. All four of us split up with Jon's encrypted walkie talkies and had WAAAY too much of a good time.
"Agent Zero, this is Tech Sgt. Chen. Have we procured the tonic and limes, over."
"Tech Sgt. Chen, that's an affirmative. Are we a go with cranberry juice and Tostitos?"
Anywho, everyone else arrived circa 12-ish. And dear L-rd, people. I have NEVER consumed so much alcohol in my life. I once prided myself in the fact that I have never spewed from drinking...but this fact is no longer valid, m'afraid. I remember us playing a drinking game, then I have foggy memories of getting in Omar's car and driving to Tequilas. Omar looks exactly like Jimmy Fallon with an EMO haircut and a beard. He was wearing a Beatle-esque tight pin stripe suit, and it was pretty hot. I am not shitting you.
The rest of the story is pretty foggy, but once I was in Tequilas, I ran to the bathroom and started hurling my guts out. I just remember bits and pieces---some random chicks were wiping me off because I couldn't figure out how to turn on the bathroom sink. Anywho, after this I found Omar and we chilled until I had to ralph again. Found Jon. Then we left. We lost track of all our other people. Stopped by Safeway to nab toothpaste for Jon. Went home. Jon fell asleep on the couch. Omar and I hung out in Jon's bed until 7:30am just talking--this conversation of course mainly consisted of us discussing whether or not we should have sex. I decided against it, because:
1. I had been hurling ALL night and felt like a ball of crust, and
2. There was no way I was going to sleep with one of Jon's friends in his own bed. Hey, I can retain *some*class.
Anywho, Omar left in the early AM, then Jon woke up from the couch and came to bed. We slept off and on until 1:30pm. Around 5pm we left the house for dinner--> THE CRAPPIEST pad thai dish I have ever been served, btw. Post-coffee we came back to his place, cleaned up from the party, and worked on arranging 'Broken' until we went to bed arond 1:30. We lunched this early afternoon, and I just got home. Hoorah.
I seriously need to do laundry.
Have a date tonight with this guy--an MOT. We'll see what happens, ey?
48 HOUR JEANS!
We're done.
Well. This weekend. Wow.
High-tailed it to Jon's post-work on Friday afternoon. HOUSE warming partaay time. Hit Safeway for mixers and some grub-wage a few hours before the rest of the crew came. All four of us split up with Jon's encrypted walkie talkies and had WAAAY too much of a good time.
"Agent Zero, this is Tech Sgt. Chen. Have we procured the tonic and limes, over."
"Tech Sgt. Chen, that's an affirmative. Are we a go with cranberry juice and Tostitos?"
Anywho, everyone else arrived circa 12-ish. And dear L-rd, people. I have NEVER consumed so much alcohol in my life. I once prided myself in the fact that I have never spewed from drinking...but this fact is no longer valid, m'afraid. I remember us playing a drinking game, then I have foggy memories of getting in Omar's car and driving to Tequilas. Omar looks exactly like Jimmy Fallon with an EMO haircut and a beard. He was wearing a Beatle-esque tight pin stripe suit, and it was pretty hot. I am not shitting you.
The rest of the story is pretty foggy, but once I was in Tequilas, I ran to the bathroom and started hurling my guts out. I just remember bits and pieces---some random chicks were wiping me off because I couldn't figure out how to turn on the bathroom sink. Anywho, after this I found Omar and we chilled until I had to ralph again. Found Jon. Then we left. We lost track of all our other people. Stopped by Safeway to nab toothpaste for Jon. Went home. Jon fell asleep on the couch. Omar and I hung out in Jon's bed until 7:30am just talking--this conversation of course mainly consisted of us discussing whether or not we should have sex. I decided against it, because:
1. I had been hurling ALL night and felt like a ball of crust, and
2. There was no way I was going to sleep with one of Jon's friends in his own bed. Hey, I can retain *some*class.
Anywho, Omar left in the early AM, then Jon woke up from the couch and came to bed. We slept off and on until 1:30pm. Around 5pm we left the house for dinner--> THE CRAPPIEST pad thai dish I have ever been served, btw. Post-coffee we came back to his place, cleaned up from the party, and worked on arranging 'Broken' until we went to bed arond 1:30. We lunched this early afternoon, and I just got home. Hoorah.
I seriously need to do laundry.
Have a date tonight with this guy--an MOT. We'll see what happens, ey?
48 HOUR JEANS!
We're done.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
O'DOYLE RULEZ
Snagged my FABULOUS new cell phone today at work. I am too excited. My first ringtone download: MP3 MILKSHAKE. I feel like a ghetto ho, but EH. I am what I am. :)
Heading over to Jon's tomorrow night for festivities--looking forward to it. Crossing my fingers for some hot photographer action. BWA! Poor Sue smashed her new V-dub bug. That shit is a death trap, unless you live in the desert. Ice + VW bug = NO. SUHSI!
PAYCHECK tomorrow. Casual Friday. I need to do laundRAT. *WOOT*
Snagged my FABULOUS new cell phone today at work. I am too excited. My first ringtone download: MP3 MILKSHAKE. I feel like a ghetto ho, but EH. I am what I am. :)
Heading over to Jon's tomorrow night for festivities--looking forward to it. Crossing my fingers for some hot photographer action. BWA! Poor Sue smashed her new V-dub bug. That shit is a death trap, unless you live in the desert. Ice + VW bug = NO. SUHSI!
PAYCHECK tomorrow. Casual Friday. I need to do laundRAT. *WOOT*