I have no desire to see Diane Sawyer in prison

Wow. I found my 'ERIC' Wizard of Oz tape today...I haven't been able to find it in a year. I don't know if its significance has been greatly increased because of the lack of time since I've seen it...or just because its just the only video I have seen that makes me cry everytime I watch it. It completely encapsulated a time in my life in which I believe I was at my peak; my peak of health, relationships, success, etc. Everything was possible then--we were all unstoppable.

I am questioning my path. Questioning my own goals right now. Yes, I have them, but have I been making them up to fit what I THINK is right for me? What I know will 'most likely' work out? Am I settling for this?

I feel so lost right now that I seriously don't remember what I love the most. I can't remember anymore. Am I just romanticizing the past? How come this happens everytime I roll the past over in my mind? I just keep churning and churning...there is no end result because I haven't DONE anything about it. Its as if I've put everything on the back burner in order to just LIVE day to day.

I really love my job. This company is rapidly growing, and I could definitely play a part in its future. This is realistic, practical thought. But I'm not happy. I love these people, but they aren't MINE.

I fill the shoes, but they just DON'T go with this outfit, ya know?

So lost. I need to sleep.

Recovery
Mucho crapage to report.

Post-work on Friday I zoomed down to the Springs IN COSTUME to chill with Jon and Sue. After dining on EXQUISITE sushi, we hit Jon's new place to help him unpack and get some of his shit sorted. Great times.
I NEED a pillow top bed, people.

After lunch on Saturday in the Springs, I headed back up to Denver to get ready at Allison's for the party in LoDo. Mucho photos were taken. We looked phenomenal. Took a cab down to the Sherman ballroom for the exotic Halloween party--grand times. Can I say YAY for male dancers and body paint?

Woke up in the early afternoon today and then headed back to my place...then back to Parker. I am SO not looking forward to this snow*age arriving tonight.

So all in all, a GREAT weekend. I'm praying for the snow storm to move...

This dog smells like ASS.

So I went out with David tonight, and we had a GRAND OL time. I gave him the 'cheek' at the end of the night, but you all know how I'm rollin these days--a little less whorish. YAAAAY!

Felt like CRAP all day today at work. D looked fabulous in his glasses today...YAY Sheryl putting in a majora compliment in my favor--I love my people.

PAX sucks. The end.

Going to bed. This weekend is going to FREAKING rule. Might go out with that new air force guy---he seriously has a photo with Pres. Bush. This is hilarious and kinda turns me on at the same time. WHAT does this MEAN?

FALAFEL NIIIIGHT

Yep. David asked me out to dinner tonight AFTER I made other plans. Tres typical, but eh. We're going out tomorrow. WOO. :)

Could it be?

Freakin crazy on I-25 this morning...three accidents. I was 15 min late getting into work. Some firefighter yelled STOP at me after I was 'waved along' by anothern. Typical. Yay for people yelling at you that don't even KNOW you. It was fun. And yes, I wrote 'anothern.' RECOGNIZE.

Gonna call Joey tonight...that kid is a riot.

I missed boss-man today.

Discovered a BADASS little diner at lunch today con mis amigos...this could be it, people. Lurved it. GOUDA GOUDA GOUDA.

Gas = $1.94/gal. I spent 20 bucks and I am barely over 1/2 a tank now. YAY JEEP! Eh. Its still worth it.

George Lopez should NOT be on television. The end.

Coloradans for YOUR MOM are responsible for this ad

Today went by fast. I just ENJOYED your call tonight, Allison.

Spoke with that David character (the fly-fishing dude, Alli), and we're supposed to get together this week. HILARIOUS. We'll see what happens. :)

GIVE IT TO ME ONE MORE TIME, COOCHIE!

Yea, I could tell you dig pitching tents.

Excuse me, I ordered the LARGE sharpie pen?

I am just tired of the world today and the loud Mexican children that wake me up every morning that live a floor below me. Yay 6012 million children in a one bedroom! YAAAAY! And yes. 6012 is a real number.

Saw whats-his-face today when I was leaving, and my heart stopped for 5 seconds. His eyes were so sad. I wish I could jolt some life back into them...

Bitchy people on the phone today at work--I just don't see the point. UGH.

Bedtime.

Stay out of the light...

So I went to Wes' wedding yesterday...a grand mini-trip, indeed! I woke up at 5:30am, threw some clothes on, and drove to work to pick up my paycheck. Headed back home after that to get ready, and then headed to the bank to deposit my mulah before driving to Littleton to pick-up Estrella.

Stopped at Target in Boulder to buy a lint-roller (which I forgot to buy) and snagged a quesadilla maker for the wedding gift. I so want one. Started to feel my lack of sleep and nabbed a coffee before we headed further up 36. The drive went swimmingly, and I started to get misty as soon as we were driving in Estes. A million memories came flooding back all at once. This was my home for nearly two years and where I made some of the closest friends I have. I grew up in this place.

I had never met Silvia, but she was a nice Peruvian girl. TRES thin and a definite looker, no joke. Wes' entire family was there, but Sil had only her mom and grandma. They are supposed to have another ceremony when they head back to Lima this winter.

So bizarre, tho. I remember Wes when he was going out with that weird Russian chick, and when Sarah and him made a 'go of it.' Yikes. Can you believe he got married, Sarah? Crazy times. YAY YMCA romance, people. It has happened to the best of us, in some shape or form.

Post-wedding shenanigans, I stopped by to hang with the Dusty--I love this kid. He just deserves better. Then I found out that Ash is the RA for the winter...he looked REALLY good. I haven't seen any of these people in at least a year. Ash has a new cd out--Maybe Later. Ash's voice and songwriting can be described as 'optimistic Bob Dylan.' It works, tho. Trust me. He needs to go back home to New Zealand so we can hang on the ASAP. :)

Then who comes WALTZING in but Shortz. He has lost 40 pounds, and looks phenom, but tired. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he saw me. He's actually coming down to Denver tomorrow with Brian, so we're definitely going to hang. Andrea = excited. Shortz is such a great guy...wow, I've missed these people.

Post-Ash and Shortz I hung out with Doug and Jim up in the admin office--must email Israel photos to Doug. And ASHLEY---get this---ROY WAS WORKING IN THE RUSTIC!! AGHHHH! I laughed. Really hard.

After hanging with Tina Bo-Bina I had to get back to Denver for mom's b-day celebraTION. I made it back in some SWEET time. Damn, I miss that place. Dinner was fabulous. Dad did a great job with her gifts this year---I was TRES impressed.

Tonight is pumpkin time with Alli and Co. Good times.

Eli came home with a gi-normous smile on his face because he kicked some guys ass last night in a fight. Boys will be boys.

Talked to Jon last night--he's having me over next Friday so I can help him arrange his new place in the Springs with Sue (My CHARMIN buddy). Hot tub, anyone? I think I can handle this. :)

Marc called as well, last night. He's doing WELL, and this makes me happy. I loves you, Marcus.

Damn, I need a Blackberry. I actually bought a PLANNER last night to keep track of shit. CRAZY.

The Jeep needs a tune-up, STAT.

I hope Wes is making some sweet, sweet quesadillas today...

HOLY CRAP! ALSO---talked to Mel-dawg for the first time in a YEAR last night, as well. She's chillin in some Blah Blah-Qua town in upstate NY, still. I need to visit. Her voice was so good to hear on the way back from Estes last night. Wow, I miss these people. I seriously need to be a better friend. Distance = UGH. Gonna whip my sorry ass into shape...

Going to see the Grudge tonight...I doubt I'll sleep soundly for weeks. EH.

They're all CONGRAHHGAYTIN'!

I say some dumbass things, mis amigos. Worked out in the employee 'FITNESS CENTER' today post workage with Nancy. Yay for friends that are old enough to be your mother. Age just DOES NOT matter. I was on the stationary bike yelling at the television. I am so done with this election year. The PT's were working out and had a TIMER on so they could 'circuit' all 5 of the machines. And jump rope. To 'PUMP UP THE JAM,' no less. I wish I was kidding.

I found an 'ESTELLE GEDDY' workout tape, as well. Someone that gets why this is funny needs to watch it and workout hardcore SITTING IN A CHAIR style with me. On the ASAP, folks.

Do I LOOK like a public interest lawyer to you?? HUH?!

When spending the night at my parent's house, I feel like I never have to go to bed. WHAT IS THIS?

Free laundry.

HUNT/GATHER FOR QUARTERS ...I just GIVE you my permission.

There used to be salsa in that bowl.

Tomorrow is my Friday. I need to phone Estrella on the ASAP.

I loves my children...especially you, Marcus.

I need ideas for another costume. My Halloween costume is too racy for my work 'BREAKFAST POTLUCK COSTUME CONEST.' SO wrong. The wench costume just isn't going to win me 8 hours of PTO. I'm thinking GHOST of Disco. Two words, my friends...GLITTER and AFRO.

HELP

I need a chiropractor ASAP. Allison, any suggestions?

On a side note, the Broncos are kicking RAIDER ASS. Bradley is warming the bench somewhere with his perfect arse.

And the moral of the story is...

Sex in the Suburbs? Old news, my hard rockin' amigos.

Good times at the MIRAGE last night. I am seriously CRACKING. I was yawning hardcore at 10:30pm. Its official: I'm turning into a grandma.

I had some severe nightmares last night. The last one I had was about these zombies trying to keep me trapped in a Walmart. George W. came to save me. WTF?

Currently watching a round table discussion about 527 groups. TRES interesante.

I need to pickup my costume. Wench? Uh yes.

WICKED retahded

Aww...I'll miss Jimmy.

So the news is in: I'm visiting Misty and Co. in Newburgh over Thanksgiving weekend. HOO*rah.

Lack of hockey is depressing me.

Saturday night with the quaterbacks? HELLS yes.

Let's start a ROUSING bout of 'THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND,' mmmkay?

OR not.

There's so much going on, and I just DON'T feel like disclosing. Lately I'm feeling like I just need to SHUT OFF the noise. Cut out the drama. Its time for focus, and I'm streamlining how I spend my time--especially with people. I just DON'T have time for people that I don't respect.

Turn it up

Ya know, I actually LIKED U2's VERTIGO this morning. Since 8:30am, I've heard it over 10 times on the radio and tv today. We're thinking not so much.

Yay costume hunting with Allison tomorrow. Woot.

My body is seriously worn out. The glands are starting to hurt, and my eyes keep spasming. SLEEP = now.

I need an old Westword like Huck's.

I am so taking tap classes. This just seems appropriate.

AIR MATTRESS.

Mucho drama in the neighborhood

Okay. A brief rundown of Sat- Present:

Saturday: Hung out with the Jone-ster (Boston's = SUCKS ASS), bought some LIQUAAAH, and headed to Bob's for party fest. GREAT times. I was smashed. Mikey = weird guy. Beer pong. I fell asleep. Bob woke me up at 3-ish to tell me that I had to leave, along with everyone else that was lying on the floor. This was INSANE. I was barely sober OR awake, for that matter. Joni followed me home to make sure I was cool driving. I was only a few blocks away from home, but wow. Never doing that again....crashed at 4am. TIRED.

Sunday: Woke up at 2pm and tried to remember what I had planned tonight. Talked to the Doctor *yay*, then got ready for Canadian Thanksgiving at Tifani's. Bought a pie, met up with Heather, then hit the road to Lakewood. Met FABULOUS Jen. I have a non-sexual crush on Jen. I just RESPECT this woman SO much. Tif has a new kitten...a male named MARY. Hilarious. He's adorable--very dog-like. Conversed with married couple, Ron and Colleen. Good folk. Quoted Napoleon Dynamite until the pie. The glorious pie.

Law school is a definite.

Lunching with Allison tomorrow. Grand times await...

Wait for it...wait for it...
WOW, I am so freaking tired right now.

Plans fell through with Cory--I know his ass got busted somewhere. His ass is MINE next. Dinner with parents = pucker. I AM going to law school. *HOORAH* Mucho discussion about this.

Listened to JG, and felt like crying. His words mean so much to me.

Loving work. There's just a FUTURE here.

Yay new cologne...yum*may.

AIR MATTRESS!!

Good times with great friends this weekend--Joni tomorrow afternoon, Bob's house party in the PM, then Canadian Thanksgiving on Sunday with Tif. I am going to miss that troll. Eh. At least now I have plans to go to Toronto this spring. HOLLA! Jazzed. ERcized.

Damn, that pisses me off about Cory.

Barely awake.

Yep. Its true. All of us WOMEN voters want to shag John Edwards.

Apparently the 'single women' voters will swing with the Kerry/Edwards campaign. Bollocks. Or not so much.

I am wearing HIDEOUS sweatpants right now, and I have never been more comfortable. Well, as comfortable as you can get when your uterus is doing cartwheels. I've been on the rag THREE times in 6 weeks. YAAAY EC!

FREE LUNCH. SACK LUNCH. LUNCH TICKET. ORANGE LUNCH TICKET PUNCH. SACK ATTACK!

This weekend I'm going to get shit done, I promise.

Take me OOT

I think I've been OVERLY adapting myself to people. I do this to make people feel comfortable and correct. But I believe the overuse of such things can be TRES unkosher and ultimately bad news overall. UNhealthy. I think its because I generally want people to like me, but I'm definitely eeping into a time period in which I couldn't give a rat's ass. This definitely comes in cycles.

I love how the bar scene is just one huge meat market. A meat market full of decomposing, drunken, ugly flesh. Granted, I have met some cool people, but they are few and far, amigos. And I feel for you guys, I really do. It takes cojones and/or alcohol to take that much rejection in one night.

Joni, you rule. I knew it would happen.

Jalapeno Tostitos--yes.

I'm feeling SO ready for something. Every muscle in my body is just in this tense mode, my feet are curled at the edge of a diving board, and I'm ready to react at any type of 'GO' signal. Its the silence before the storm. The dead space between READY(....and....) GO.

And I have no idea why.

Feeling uber lazy today. Drove to the rent's house around 2am post-last night's festivities. Crashed on the air mattress in the space that I once called my room. Its painted now. With a desk. And a papason. This wasn't the room I grew up in, but my crap did occupy it for a while. A bit of a sad feeling here.

I saw Garden State this time last week, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Zach Braff's character has this line about family which made so much sense it hurt:
"Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

I need another chip.

Ain't nothin chillin' at the HOLIDAE INNNNNN!

Last night was an absolute blast. Met up with Heather first at the Fox & Hound, but we were blinded by Nebraska fans. Seriously. 200 people wearing red = not cool. We skipped out of there and headed to Earl's...badass. Yay for connections and 100 bucks in free drinks. That place is CLASS.

Post Earl's, we headed over to Lodos to meet up with Bob, Billy and some random people. Hotness, people. HOTNESS. The party continued until midnight when we headed to...you guessed it...midnight cosmic bowling. We totally rule. And suck hardcore at bowling. Its drunken lasertag this week, babay! Next weekend at Bob's, tho. Its definitely an all-nighter. GOOD TIMES.

I sense a nap coming on...

Dick Cheney owes me $1.75

The weekend is finally here, and I couldn't be happier. *BLAH* :)

I am absolutely loving the job. It has soul.

I miss Kyle so much.

This past week has been CRAZY. Too much to write about anymore.

The birthday went swimmingly. I heart my people.

Glo-bowl is going to kick SO MUCH ass.

Life is feeling so good. Jon is making me a frap right now. Bless him.

I NEED an iSight. Hooketh me UP.

Chris-it has just been a WHILE. We should dish.

RENT is just due. WOW. Bloomington trip memories. Would you light my candle? BOO YAAAH!

Adieu.