I have no desire to see Diane Sawyer in prison

Wow. I found my 'ERIC' Wizard of Oz tape today...I haven't been able to find it in a year. I don't know if its significance has been greatly increased because of the lack of time since I've seen it...or just because its just the only video I have seen that makes me cry everytime I watch it. It completely encapsulated a time in my life in which I believe I was at my peak; my peak of health, relationships, success, etc. Everything was possible then--we were all unstoppable.

I am questioning my path. Questioning my own goals right now. Yes, I have them, but have I been making them up to fit what I THINK is right for me? What I know will 'most likely' work out? Am I settling for this?

I feel so lost right now that I seriously don't remember what I love the most. I can't remember anymore. Am I just romanticizing the past? How come this happens everytime I roll the past over in my mind? I just keep churning and churning...there is no end result because I haven't DONE anything about it. Its as if I've put everything on the back burner in order to just LIVE day to day.

I really love my job. This company is rapidly growing, and I could definitely play a part in its future. This is realistic, practical thought. But I'm not happy. I love these people, but they aren't MINE.

I fill the shoes, but they just DON'T go with this outfit, ya know?

So lost. I need to sleep.