That's just WRONG

I looked awesome and oh so trampy last night, and we DID not even have our digi with us. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...the crew headed out to the Rocky Horror Picture Show downtizzown last night, and what a freaking ride it was. We had some photos of our crew taken, along with most everyone's ass (not mine, sorry to disappoint). They should be on their website by the end of the week. Sometimes you just NEED to look like trash. But classy trash, yes. Yummay. I need to go back this summer because I did not succeed in scoring the ticket dude's number. We'll soon have it. Muahahah.

I DID, however, receive a lapdance. Not by mentioned ticket boy, sadly. Spank you...OH so much.
Right.

I was able to get SO MUCH done today at work...too bad I only had 2 hours of sleep this morning. BAH. Thank you, Bagel Stop.

I need to shower. Rachel's grad party is tonight, along with possible outing with Jason. Ah hmmm. We shall see...

Until then...

Take THAT, vagina!

Rebecca = rules.

Look at me now

On lunch. Lunch munch crunch. Right.

PAY DAY.

KYLE, where the hell are you?

I'll be in Israel in 15 days. Loving this.

So much to gather...

LETTER JACKET SPIFF

Atheltics? I thought you lettered in CHOIR.

I need to wash the Jeep.

Heeeeeeeeey.

Holding my breath...

PERFORMANCE FLEECE!

Bart, I need to return your call. You will just GET one.

Everything is bigger in Texas

LOVELY day outside. Just got back from a hike, and I've found bizarre markings on my left forearm...EH. SUN IN FACE.

Wicked is running through my mind...

It seems as though I'm not going to Israel for vacation. But am I?

TILAPIA pudding.

I would NOT like that breaded.

That bicycle hates freedom

Car Acrobatic Team

Wow. What a weekend, indeed. And long time, no freaking blog.

So Friday night I had Erev Shabbat with Jon...lovely times. Left Saturday morning after watching his piece on car insurance---tres informative. Hiked Castle Rock when I returned from Springs. Awesome weather.

Saturday night I went out with Marc in Boulder...although no fat tire was consumed, we did indeed fire up some Pete's. Damn, I miss that kid.

MONTE CARLO

Sunday DAY I spent cleaning, then I went and saw TROY, which was extremely decent. I'm not really a Brad Pitt fan, but I couldn't get enough of him in the film. Ouch. Hector? Yes, please. Yum. After I got home, Allison called, and I headed down to her place for some din and then some H.H.A. with Doug. Lesson learned: Fat Tire is just OVERRATED.

So after some nice drunken times and futon dwelling with a cat nestled to my feet, I am now home and running late for work.

Typical.

My room needs to be cleansed.

I just don't have enough time to talk to Jared.

STOMACH

I have to leave.

HOT STUFF right here, people

So I called the cops last night because some douche bag kids were destroying mailboxes at 11PM. This was one of their MANY mistakes.

So I open the garage door, come outside, inspect the destroyed mailbox, and proceed to yell out a schweet round of expletives in their general 'hiding spot' direction. I felt satisfied. I came back in, told the cops there were some kids smashing shit on my street, and it would be cool if they could come out and drive around the neighborhood. I'd like my Jeep NOT destroyed, thank you. My dad's car window was smashed in a few weeks ago. Punk ass rich kids. Seriously.

So the coppers come and stop at my neighbor's house. The dude that lives next door actually RAN AND CAUGHT UP with the douche bag kids doing it, but only nabbed one of them. Too bad. So THEY are pressing charges, we're not, but the kid is 18. So BOO YAH, this shit is going to be on his brand new CRIMINAL RECORD! YAY! Stupid. At least we're getting a new mailbox. Oh! And the poor sap's friends kept driving around the neighborhood...they didn't stop to save their friend. What crap. Eh.

And if you're going to smash mailboxes, do it AFTER 1AM! I mean, shit. People are going to be UP at 11pm. Ass clowns.

MMkay. Off I go to car shop. Lates.

Your Gordita is making me TI-RED

Love, Actually was GOOD. It just was. I needed it. Sappy? Yes. Realistic? Probably not. This is me not caring.

Marc got into Colorado last night---me = YAY.

ALLISON is in town this week, so we shall party hardy indeed.

Currently on break from slavery...blah. Its going by fast today. One shouldn't complain.

I'm ENJOYING this watch.

I just NEED more Under Armour! LACKING.

Mom is looking at a Jeep for herself...she found a 2001 black cherokee with 15k miles on it. If she gets this vehicle, I am going to be stealing it. No doubt. Just bring the Jeep IN.

Kyle got the job at Kinkos. YAY. And...here's your apron. Badass. Just ENLARGE it. 7:05pm. The Doctor is IN.

HOME is calling. I'm not answering.

He PREFERRED the pc to the laptop. Just THROW in a Canon printer for free, mmkay?

Default accent: British.

Ah haaaa

I'm watching "Love, Actually." Hugh Grant is in it; therefore I must watch and touch myself. To all a good night.

Yes, Paul Hunt, you are a stone cold fox.

And I am a dork. Eh. Would you expect any less?

And you too, Dominic. A lovely Londoner, yet you lack the grit and pecs of the Manchester ragamuffin, Paul. Muah. I'd still have a go, however...

I have something to say to you... and I think that it's important that I say it out of the cage

SATAN'S LEMONADE! Ha. I still find that amusing.

Watched Virgin Suicides last night for the first time. Damn, I love the Coppola. I read the novel 2 years ago, so I'm glad I finally got to see the film. WOW, that sounded geeky. Eh. Allison + moi had a great time. LURVE IT.

Slackers? UH yes.

If YOU are a COOK...the more experience, the better. If you think you meet the specifications, you should just come right on down and APPLY.

TAHME for dee bus ride.

HEADACHE...I have the hair in pigtails today. WHO AM I?

STOP SERVE SELL

Sean looks like death today...schleep.

BOULDER this week! I get to see my boys!!! YAY! Allison is just COMING along.

WOOP WOOP

LIBRARY CARD

Babies don't come with instructions...

"UH, Ethan...that's a troll."

"Gnome its not."

My brother is graduating on Thursday. WHO ARE WE?!

Mocha is needed.

FRAP CRAP NAP

The weather is shitty right now...need fuel + washing.

COME FORTH!

NO BATTLE HYMN? Who are these people?!

"Yea, I came home and it unleashed an unweilding stream of satan's lemonade onto the floor as it tried to jump on me."

On the way...

Marc and Shawn are on their way to Colorado right now. Tear. It was this time last year that I was packing all my junk up to head up to EP. Sigh. Its a bizarre feeling.

Last night = interesting. Plans changed, and we went to the Stampede last night...wow. Yay for the faux cowboy culture! OW OW! Or not. Some random woman pulled up to me in the parking lot and proceeded to disclose her life story. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Going hiking today...

Cotton-eyed Joe? I tore it UP.

Talked to Jared until 4am this morning. Where do these ideas come from?

Had a staff meeting AT 9am today...STOP SERVE AND SELL! Yep, its the new 'customer service' motto. I've been given the task of coming up with a way to motivate the staff to practice this motto in a fun/effective way. HOORAH. DEFINITE possibilities.

Dick called, and they want me to go with them to the Grizzly Rose tonight. Hilarious. WHY am I being inundated with this cowboy madness? Hmm. Eh.

I've had enough.

I refuse to be held down by the damn Wasichu!

That's Dakota for DOUCH BAG, sucka!

Catching up on sleep. GLORIOUS.

Tonight= margaritas at the Rio, ya'll! I'm loving it.

TAHME for dee BUS RIDE!

There's a certain phenomenon going around as of late: people are calling me in the middle of the night, I am talking to them, and yet I remember nothing in the morning. Bizarre.

Way to go, Eric Pemberton! You are officially the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet. ITS FREAKING PAUL MCCARTNEY!!! SUCK IT UP AND DEAL!

You're prairie doggin' it!

Ugh. Work sucks the big one today. Boring as HELL, people.

Kyle, what's up with your job? PRAAAY TELL. Call me tonight.

I've had about 12 hours of sleep this WEEK. Snagged a peach smoothie this morning with an ASS load of vitamin C in it. We'll wait and see what happens.

Andrea needs the sleep.

MARGARITA night tomorrow, ya'll. CANNA WAIT.

Why are you in such a mood?

She was GETTIN' LOUUUUUD!

Wow. I just don't care about sleeping anymore. Its final. I haven't had more than 10 hours of sleep this week. YESSS!

Last night was truly friggin awesome. Mmm mmm mmm...damn.

I have no control over my eye movement.

I need vitamin C and zinc NOW.

Payday.

No more ass class this semester. Joy.

We need to mix it UP, Gordon.

Jonathan can FIX my laptop AC adapter. *sigh* Now THAT'S a man you wanna keep around.

Oy...and for more reasons than one.

I work from 8-5 today, and I know that I am NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.

BART, just WHERE are you?

I OWE you a phone call, Kyle.

WHO IS LAUREN?!
Those falafels last night were SFA. Frank's hot and feta? DAMN.

I need not to be sick.

Sniffing in the VIP area...

Pollen in my Eyes

Wednesday. Right.

So I stayed up all night working on my last three finals for today...it was worth it. I can't help but feel like I'm not quite done; it seems as though there is something else. Perhaps this is all in my sleep-deprived head. EH.

Cynthia is brillant and mad. Hand in hand. I shall miss her.

AKIRA! BAM! CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH COMBO!

Terror in my eyes...

I was stuck on I-25 rainy traffic this afternoon, and I never before had I the urge to pee MORE in my life. Bizarre places.

CALL Gordon. We'll just SUSHI.

If Men Could Menstruate

by Gloria Steinem, 1978

A White minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into
thinking that a white skin makes people superior-even though the only
thing it really does is make them more subject to ultraviolet rays and
to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea
that penis-envy is "natural" to women-though to have such an unprotected
organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth
makes womb-envy at least as logical.

In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are
thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless- and logic
has nothing to do with it.

What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate
and women could not?

The answer is clear-menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy
masculine event:
Men would brag about how long and how much.
Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood,
with religious ritual and stag parties.
Congress would fun a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp
out monthly discomforts.
Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some
men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne
Tampons, Muhammed Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shileds - "For
Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.)

Military men, right-wing politicians and religious fundamentalists would cite
menstruation (MEN-struation) as proof that only men could serve in the Army
("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("Can women
be aggressivewithout that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be
priests or ministers ("How could a woman give her blood for our sins?"), or
rabbis ("Without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean.")

Male radicals, left-wing politicians, and mystics, however, would insist that
women are equal, just different; and that any woman could enter the ranks if
only she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month, recognize the
preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in
their cycle of enlightenment.

Street guys would brag ("I'm a three-pad man") or answer praise from a buddy
("Man, you're looking GOOD!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on
the rag!". TV shows would treat the subject at length ("Happy Days": Richie
and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has
missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS
MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies.
(Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers").

Men would convince women that intercourse was MORE pleasureable at "that time
of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself-
though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man.

Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments.
How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space,
mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for
measuring the cycles of the moon and planets-and thus for measuring anything
at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women
compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of
symbolic death-and-resurrection every month?

And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women
agreeing to all these arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism.
("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month?" Phyllis
Schlafly. "Your husbands blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy
too!" Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitiate men
and PRETEND to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly
that men too needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian
aggressiveness,just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses-envy. Radical
feminists would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was a pattern for
all other oppressions. (Vampires were our first freedom fighters!). Cultural
feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist
feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to
monopolize menstrual blood...

In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go
on for ever.

Shutup, Randy. You're boring.

QUESTION: What is the shexy?

ANSWER: For moi? FEROCIOUS kissing. Yes, please.

Excuse me, I ORDERED THE LARGE vat of salsa.

Ludacris got the flow that makes your booty go *SMACK*

TUESDAY.

Worked from 8-5, and now I am on my way home to work on the bloody finals. SICK. I need to memorize lines and write 2 gi-normous papers. We'll GETERDONE, people. No worries.

Jay and I had Chipotle today...just WHERE IS THE ICE DISPENSER?! Tricky bastards.

FREE COOKIES HERE

One more day. One day more.

Josh: "Yea, she was a helluva RIDE!" *insert Frankenstein face here*

We're thinking shindig at Rob's house this weekend...MAJOR possibilities, ya'll.

Payday = Friday.

I put 20 bucks of gas in the Jeep last night...halfway full. At least you can look DECENT whilst scoring horrible gas mileage.

WOO!

Wow. Woman in MAN CARPENTER shorts = looks OH so wrong.

LAUNDRY

Just NOT preggo.

Dangerously Good Times...

Wow. Today was surprisingly AWESOME.

SOO....post critique, Allison and I gathered the non-douche bag people from our photo class--Jethro(Vampire Nature Boy), Henry, Joseph, New Guy, Ian, and Sean, and we headed to Rio. And DAMN. The Rio was closed, so we headed to Lime. I heart the Lime. Allison and I got the lard-ass peach margaritas, and memories of the rest of our time at Lime are a bit hazy. Yee freaking HAW.

I LOVE her place. We just need to continue this.

Then headed down to the bar a block away from the Hill downtown. Wow. I just got home, as well. Left the house at 7am this morning. GHETTO.

Working tomorrow in the early am. I must finish SEX/GENDER final tomorrow evening. I can just DO IT.

Feeling a bit nervous about the theatre presentation because people are douche bags, but we'll plow through it somehow. I cannot wait until this madness is over.

My phone is CONSTANTLY DYING.

AT&T, you can suck it.

Because I am a Douche

OKAY. I was wrong about the new blogger. I'm digging the new look.

STARVING. I have my photo final in a matter of minutes, and again...we have STARVIN MARVIN on our hands. I'm gonna deal.

I also need to make up a quiz I didn't take 3 weeks ago. I am soooo on top of it. Eh. I don't even KNOW.

Extra credit? I just DON'T think so.

What the hell happened?

MMkay. So I woke up this morning, fired up the puter, and sign into this here blog...what THE?! Let me now introduce to you...BLOGGER for dumb people! WOOOOOO! Eh.

Not feeling today at all. I have 20 bucks to last me this entire week. Not gonna happen. I'm gonna drop about 10 of it today just to get me back and forth to school in the ol jeep. Shit, I need to find a new job.

The rents are coming back today, and I have mixed feelings. We'll leave it at that. Mixed feelings.

Israel is coming up sooner than expected. MONEY. I just don't have a lot of it, and I won't have too much for the trip. In the next 4 weeks, I have to register the car, get plates, pay my first payment (yes, redundant...kiss it), pay school loans, and I am going to do all of this on 20 hours a freaking week. Ahahaha...you don't have to be a math major to know that it just doesn't add up. Well, add up to something I can PAY. WOO!

Anywho, after this week I can seriously start worrying about that because TODAY is the beginning of the end. Finals.

I just don't give a rat's ass anymore.

Speaking of ass, I need to move mine out of this house and in the general direction of school. Lates.

CaroLIIIINE!

Outkast makes me smile.

Well.

Had the most BIZARRE of dreams last night. I dreamt that I was STABBED twice on a plane...Nick and Jessica were just THERE at the gate to meet me along with Anna Nicole.

What

the

hell

Anywho, Ryan is gonna be driving up this afternoon. Should prove to be a fun time...and I feel somewhat obligated to have CONCRETE plans as to what we should do, seeing that he DID drive an hour to see my ass. WOOO! It shall indeed come together.

Working on finals. STILL.

Kyle is JUST DONE with school this semester. Me = jealous.

34 days until Israel.

Too Tired TBR

Jumped into the bath as soon as I got home, and quickly thereafter cuddled into bed. That was 7pm. It is now 9:10 pm, and I don't know what I'm typing.

I GOT SO MUCH DONE TODAY. Good feelings. VERY little sleep under the belt.

Could she be regretting this?

Enjoying the house.

OVERFLOWING WASHER

Where was Allison?

It just works

Turned in the portfolio today. Booyah. One down, people. I NEED THE SCANNER! HOW I LOATHE these CU comp labs! UGH!

No matter. I miss Akira.

Grandad is in for another day...INSERT PORCH SWING HERE.

I have had about 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days. Not cool.

MAJOR PROGRESS in theatre this morning. I am feeling so much better about our performance this next week. Good times.

I still have to journey back to mount my work either tomorrow or Friday, but that won't prove to be too painful. YEE haw.

NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE THE PARKING TICKET!

Chris, I am just RETURNING your phone calls this evening. Just STAY TUNED!

I think Gordon's ho is sitting across from me. Ha.

HE TOTALLED THE CIVIC! Bah! Now he's looking at an 87 BMW. This raises some questions...

FCQ's officially suck ass. Hopefully Carol will feel the hostility within my aggressively filled-in bubbles. FEEL IT, biotttttch!!

How I appreciate the Doctor Love.

Ashley, you are just A GODSEND.

We're done here.

CRAP

I can't even stand up straight right now. The stomach is notta feelin so hot. Damn.

Retrieved the final from Sex/Gender, went over portfolios in comp, hated theatre, and I can't make it to photography. I have to snag some matte board and tissue paper on the way home today. I also need to get to shooting. Sigh.

Going to float off the ground...

I can't go to South Dakota, its final. The parents are going to eat me alive. YAY.

Giving me an Ulcer

Driving in the early am I-25 madness makes me uneasy. After you've been driving a while, you tend to zone out...allowing for bizarre notions to enter the nogin. Seriously. As I was listening to RENT this morning, I realized that 4 lanes of metal are speeding all in one direction, and any deviance could prove to be deadly. YAY. I really need coffee.

The dude that tends the coffee shop in the Admin building is one of those "way too nice" guys. It freaks me out for some reason. And the dude ALWAYS has extra pennies. Always. "Need a penny? NO PROBLEM! I GOT IT! Have a GREAAAT DAYYYYY!" Freaky.

Styx is still with me. Bastards.

Waffles sound pleasing.

ONE WEEK

Chris, did you finish your papers this morning?

I really doubt I will be able to go to South Dakota this weekend. The whole *not being here on Monday of finals week* isn't going to fly very well. The rents are gonna be PISSED, but what else is new?

Israel in 39 days. Holy mother-loving crap.

This keyboard is snappy. This satisfies me for some bizarre reason.

Who is Jeff OVERTON? Nike anklets.

Cleaned out the room yesterday, and tossed so much crap. YOU JUST NEED TO PURGE! Get rid of it.

$3.25 parking

My stomach is a mess right now.

You bore the hell out of me

Damn you, Styx commercials. I now have "COME SAIL AWAY" forever stuck in my mind.

END of MY ROPE.

Just don't say I'm damned for all time.

I've been waiting to see you...

Matt called. 'Trimming' your leg hair? Interesting.

I refuse to go to bed before 1am anymore. This is unhealthy. I have to be up by 5am at the latest today. Yes, today. NOT CARING.

VOMIT

Cereal = survival mode.

Joni and I are hitting the gym like el nino. We'll see what happens. 24 hour fitness, ya'll!

But is it, really?

You can dance if you want to

So tonight ended up being SOMEWHAT productive...in my own world.

The staff meeting actually went WELL! I'm going to be composing some training materials as soon as I am done with finals, so something to look forward to, indeed! Theys gon be SWANK, YA'LLS!

I ordered the LARGE SKATER SHOE!

Just GO AND GET some DQ.

CABROLEEET!

Just what? Purple dashboard?

Gonna work the lab tomorrow and take the multitudes to the pro shop for some supplies. Rock.

CHECK IT, SEAN!

We're going to be SO ready...

You heard it here first, people...

We're just stopping this.

And I'm torn, as it were. I'll get over it.

So today is filled with cleaning and catching up... and to those of you of which I have promised JEEP photos, you will get them this week. He's going under the hose today, so we'll be in good shape.

FASCIST BABY!

Israel in 41 days.

Sigh. I really need to move out. Gart's is using me, and I'll only be able to tolerate it for so long. 'So long' being two weeks more. We've had enough.

WHERE ARE YOU, KYLE?

Its just PAST lunch time.

CAN NO ONE DO A DISH?!