Right here. Right now.

Imanuel...you bring up a pervasive point, and the stench is still lingering in my nostrils.

JON-

Who would have thought that the need to win and be the best there is (even when you don't necessarily want it in some cases) would surprise us so very much? Not the "OOPS, I CRAPPED MY PANTS' surprise, but the "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S SO TRUE!" suprise. There's a big difference between the two, and it definitely includes not having to change your pants. Yesss.

We exude self-confidence...this is not a bad thing. However, when we pretend (and we can do so WITH SUCH grace) to have total control in those shaky areas, we falter. Maybe its just going out on a limb that we are unsure about that gets us. Maybe its being so sure about the rest of the game that when the few situations we actually fear arise---it becomes a much bigger deal.

I woke up tonight realizing that I DO NOT want to be the 28 year old with shite for a future. Of course, no one wants this. Who wants to be working at the Olive Garden and living with your parents in your late twenties when your friends are making a decent living? There's many of them out there. TONS. I've gone out with a few of them, got sucked in, and then woke up as if I was in some nightmare. Its a scary place. RUN, I tell you. RUN.

And then there's the priorities. My attention has been split in 50 ways, it seems. I'm floundering about in the sand when I need to get my ass UP and out.

Don't you love it when you find out people you once respected are freakin snakes in the grass? It crushes you, and makes you feel like an absolute douche for once admiring them.

Time to move on.