I have NO idea what time it is right now...JEALOUS?

There's a squirrel running across my patio right now.

I woke up at 7:30am this morning. WHO AM I?

Chris, I need to call you.

The past two days have been a blur...but a good blur. Yay Jason. Still having mucho problemos adjusting to this time zone. Yeesh.

Saw Dodgeball last night--> hilarious.

Heading out to Boulder tonight to see the new Moore film with Marc and Co. I am muchisimo excited.

My bones ache.

I just realized I have to go back to work tomorrow. SICK.

My g-parents just bought a condo in Mexico. *cry*

Who ARE these people?

Is that my mom washing the Johnsons?

Holy crap, people. Yesterday/today was awesome. Jason came over, movie viewage was performed, and then dinner was had with Jason's good friends in LoDo. BUCCA DI PEPPO, people...COUPON! My head STILL hurts from laughing.

Anywho, I am finally on my way to get my plates for the Jeepo-rooni. SICK. Also stopping by Gart to pick up the check and browse scheduling for next week.

HARRY CRUMB

The View is just ON in the living room. I refuse to watch it.

I need to dry my hair.

Kyle, you need to call my ass.

I've had no sleep, and I'm still going. Still on Israel time, I'm afraid. EH.

JEALOUS?!

Gloria = old.

Gonna catch DODGEBALL with Jason tonight...does it get any better than this?

I'll give you 500 camels for your daughter...

Wow. I cannot even BEGIN to share what happened to me in Israel during the past two weeks. So much to digest. I kept a journal and took about 950 photos...NOT kidding. Since there is SO much to say, I'm creating an entire website with scanned journal pages and photos for people to browse through--according to their own appetite for the Andrea-Israel experience. I just don't feel like sending mass emails or gi-normous blogs about everything that happened whilst in the Land.

Fair enough.

I WILL, however, have photos available online for browse-age by this weekend.

And before I sleep...tip of the iceburg...

-Israel is NOTHING like what it seems in the media. Just stay out of that Gaza strip. Jerusalem is the most beautiful place in the world. I've never felt safer in my life.
-I absolutely LOVED Israel, especially Jerusalem. Spending a week of our trip in a flat down on Ben Yehuda was the REAL experience.
-Praying at the Western Wall and ducking through the entire length of it through secret tunnels
-Walking on Temple Mount
-Yad Vashem
-Watching the sunset over the Dead Sea in Ein Gedi
-Catching a cold in the Judean Desert
-Peering over Herod's palace and into the Judean Desert on Masada...seeing where the Romans breeched the gates of the Jewish Zealot Masada camp
-Eating enough falafel during my stay to feed a small army
-Being covered head to toe in black Dead Sea mud, and bathing in the Sulfur Springs
-Camel rides and Bedouin hospitality
-We almost weren't allowed to leave (MORE on this later)
-I'm extremely glad to be back home
AND...if anyone wants to come over and smokah the hookah--you're more than welcome.

Tomorrow = is going to be awesome. Chill day with the Jason! YAAAAAY! *insert Goat dance* <---I'll explain later.

SLEEP.

Lilah tov...

Billy Joe McCallister

So after our return from Israel *weep*, my sister is coming to stay with us for a couple weeks with Mike and the kids! I AM SO excited. I miss those kids so much. We're planning on taking quite a few trips while they are here, including some white water rafting action (WWRA), some South Dakota-ing, and some major hiking. Suh-weet.

HOT-SEAT!

The only time I NEED help in Best Buy today, I had to wait freakin' 15 minutes. WTF? Those blue polo shirt people are always up in your grill when you're just picking out a dvd, but when you need ASSISTANCE, they are nowhere to be found.

MY NAME IS ERIC! How can I help you?

Eat it, McFarley!

I'm leaving for Israel in two days.

Some random, Rod Stewart song

I hate it when you're doing laundry, and you wind up having a gi-normous pile of SHIT on top of your bed. I'm just NOT done yet.

Eli and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some essentials for the trip. I got a toothbrush, and couldn't think of anything else to get. Eh. Its one of those gum-massaging doobies. I am a huge freaking dork because I am actually LOOKING FORWARD to using it.

Damn, I wish Boulder could have worked out tonight.

CHICKEN WAAAAANG!

Buffalo wings + chapped lips = NO.

I think there needs to be ONE MORE STORY on the news about the hail we received today. PLEASE, SHOW ME ONE MORE PHOTO OF A DENTED RV! I BEG OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *grasps news woman's leg and won't let go*

WHO is Jethro, and WHAT is he doing right now? I just WANT to know.

I need to call Sean.

Why does my cell phone decide to randomly die once every week?

ZERO 7 = YAY.

You and Sir Charles Barkley

I look like absolute ASS today. I have seriously avoided eye contact with most everyone I have talked to dealt with this morning/afternoon. Muah.

Israel is keeping me going. The next 3 days are going to be freakin' HELLA busy. I left my list of things 'to-do' before my trip in the break room a few days ago. Awesome. Now everyone knows that I need to pack my bras, buy socks, clean my 'nasty ass' room, close my Wells account, and so on. The coolest, right?

Nope.

I will be without the Bell for 2 weeks. Hm...I THINK I will survive.

There I go again, breathing like a mofo. Why can't I inhale and exhale at a normal volume?

I feel so PALE.

A PALE ale, as it were.

David Letterman bothers the hell out of me.

I have gotten so much done today at work...madness. Just trying to curb the the nausea, I believe. *insert dry heave here*

ALLERGIES.

There's two grape flavors: the ACTUAL grape that tastes like water, and the GRAPE flavor found in kool-aid, gum, hard candy, beverages, etc. WHY MUST WE LIVE LIKE THIS?

I'm over it.

Pirate/Urban Sombrero.

And now time for some Pan-Asian Cuisine! MSG-ed!

My hands smell like teriyaki chicken...JEALOUS?

Work has totally SUCKED ass today. YAY for getting personally attacked by people once known as your friends. How fucking pleasant. This is seriously upsetting. Very weepy-upsetting, and I don't need this at work. Fuck it. I'll be in Israel in 3 days, SUCKAS! I'm not going to let this upset me anymore. Its over.

They smile at your face...

ANYWAY...hooked my bro up with his weight training crap...400 bucks worth. I felt a bit awful for being so bitchy towards the whole middle-of-the-day-I-forgot-my-money-I-need-to-run-home-and-get-the-truck deal. Damn you, mean people, and damn YOU, OVARIES! RARRR! Its over.

ARROWED!

I'm serious. My hands smell like sweet onion chicken teriyaki. Sick. EAT FRESH, PEOPLE! Yay for the Waaaaay of Sub.

Chris, that is so cool that Mark is coming to visit. GO YOU.

ONE MORE DAY OF WORK before I can completely focus on my trip preparations. This excites me.

ALL the while they wanna take your place...

PLACEBO!

The best ROOM RAIDERS exchange EVER:

Metrosexual Lined-Shirt Wearing Male: "Oh, and your Louie Vuitton purse? It is SO fake."

Girl: "No its not. I work at Saks Fifth Avenue. I would know. I HAVE the receipt...would you like to SEE it?"

*chuckle* "Oh, honey...its a fake. He DOESN'T line the inside with leather or GLUE the buckles on the side. You have a CHEAPIE!"

You PICKED the wrong one, dearie. Anyone with a SNOB pillow needs to pack their LV carry-on and LEAVE.

I can make it through tonight, I can make it through tonight...

I said MAUVE, not TURQUOISE!

Oy. And back to the grind. Or something like that.

I need to win the lottery this week. Someone get on that.

Kyle, I will return your call. Marc, Tuesday is SADLY not going to happen. Sorry, babe (insert sad/weepy face here). Not kosher! I know, I know. But this week is going to be HELLA busy, and I CANNOT get out of work this week. Mrrr!

I need to get gas. Damn.

Watched the 2nd season of Stranger's With Candy last night. TOO FREAKING GOOD to be real. Awww...DREAMS ARE FOR FOOOOLS!

The staff meeting was an absolute WASTE of time. Perhaps I expect everything to go AS planned in my mind, and I am just let down by reality. People can really suck sometimes. Just ANTICLIMACTIC! Trolls.

Three words: TEEN GIRL SQUAD

Because I am an old man

Its been a WHILE, people. Madness. But yes...much fun has been had in the past few days. HOO hah.

Got home this morning at 4:15am. I rule. I slept until 1pm, then headed out to the canyon to hike with the fam. I enjoyed this. Eli had to be at work at 4:30, so we had to HAUL ass. Awesome. This was my first time doing the canyon with the troll. As I lead the 2nd half of the hike, Eli proceeded to throw rocks at my ass. This is why we usually AVOID going with Eli. Eh. We're over it. :)

Becky called and wanted me to go to the Rocky Horror night once again. I don't think my heart could take that tonight...nor my sleep deprived BODAAAY. Granted, a lap dance WOULLLLD be nice. But eh. Na ga dah.

I actually think I am going to take a FRIGGIN' break tonight and watch some flicks with the fam...yea...I am so incredibly cool. Jealous?

I am eating sunflower seeds AS I am writing this. WHO AM I?

A truck driver. Yes. CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU ARE A SEEDER!!

Or not.

Jason's friend's wedding was last night (apostraphe-gasm). I left my house around 3:45-ish, and didn't arrive until almost 6pm. *gulp* It started at 5:30pm. Yes, thank you. I am a douche.

Jason = awesome.

On Thursday night I just had sordid times with the Trouble Twins, a.k.a. Becca and Allison. Wow, I really don't need to be that drunk again. Ever.

I should get some pants on.

Beebee handgun + pinecones = hours of fun

My dog Hallie is FREAKING out because of the lightning right now. I'm about to slip her a lude, seriously.

Allison-Saturday night? Should we? Shall we? We should.

Slept in today until 11am. It just felt NICE. SLOTH. Got ready and headed into Cherry Creek to have lunch with dad. Stopped into the thrift store across from the deli to see if I could find something I don't need for a dollar. Was severely tempted to buy a baseball shirt with 'PIRATES' across the front, but then I remembered that I wasn't 1. White trash or 2. In high school anymore. Nice.

Speaking of high school, I just found out my brother received 500 bucks from my grandparents for his HS graduation gift. Hmm...I'm trying to remember what they sent me for graduation...hmmm...OH YES! I remember! DIDDILY freakin' squat! Not that I'm severely bitter about it, but that's kinda sketchy. Granted, he is their only grandson from 5 (count them, FIVE) children. Nice shot, dad. EH.

I'm over it.

So we ditched the deli and actually went to this place called RUBIO'S on Colorado. This place = awesome. I would suggest the baja grilled chicken burrito. Salsa bar? Uh YES please.

I had this bizarre dream last night that I was hanging out at a friend's house from high school with several other people, and we were all getting sodomized at the same time. We were all lined up and leaning on these grey counters that came out of nowhere. And for some reason, all the dudes doing the deed were dressed up in those old timey, black and white striped prison uniforms. TRES O'Brother Where Art Thou. WHAT does this mean?

Don't you LOVE it when you come home from a day at work to find a steaming pile of crap on the carpet? It just MAKES the day, ya know? These little 'offerings' are the only downside to having large dogs as pets...as well as male friends.

Bah.

MIXED SADE

Work CRAWLED by today. LASTED A LIFETIME. Mrr!

Eh. Its over for the next 3 days. CELEBRATION. I just WON'T be here for the corporate hoo-ha. For this I am grateful.

Chris, I am just SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I miss you.

Spoke with Gabriella tonight...yay 11 year-olds. I wish she was going to Israel with us, seriously. Damn, I miss that kid.

WHERE is time going?

Loft painting + wine = YES.

I DESIRE my OWN old-fashioned photo booth, a la Amelie. I hate those new ones in the mall that make you pick shitty-ass borders and vomit out a crappy, pixelated, sorry-excuse-for-a-photo piece of CRAP.

Hilarious

And...we're done here.

Damn that cheapskate SMOOTHIE MAN!

So Mike is demanding all of us to boycott the smoothie place in our shopping center. This makes me laugh.

The owner is WAY WAY too nice. He gave me a freaking HUG last time I came in there. Uh...bizarre. He always has this RED area where a goatee once dwelled on his face...it reminds me of going home with my face scratched up from making out in the car for hours (Not with the happy smoothie man, but in general). Damn you men and your stubble! Wow, I need to shut my pie hole. CLASSY! But yes...apparently my manager is pissed because the owner dictates his own 'SUNDAY' schedule and closes whenever the hell he wants. Maybe not the BEST customer service, per se, but hells...if its your shop...

Got back from my joggerooni/hike-fest. Good times. The weather was PERFECTO.

If you say COOL BEANS, I will punch you in the neck. WHO are these people?

Doing laundry because I freaking NEED to. I have tons of shit down in the basement that I need to sort, clothes-wise. I just need to get rid of it.

Let's make a deal.

What the...did anyone else know that our *President* was in Denver today? I just wasn't aware. I would have worn my festive underwear if that was the case.

Or not.

BTW...some of our photos were posted on the Rocky Horror site. The one of us is HORRIBLE, so just deal. But the album is QUITE amusing. Again, you can find us on the CARNIVAL album. And please...tread carefully. There are many a trashy-assed photos on that bitch. SCARY times.

SATISFACTION

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Waters was coming in today to see the store. I absolutely LOATHE how all the managers get their panties in a jumble whenever we get the "GREG/DOUG MIGHT BE COMING IN THIS AFTERNOON!" call. Blah, blah. Let me do my JOB, people. ANYWHO...I was off at 4, so I hi-tailed it outta there for coffee with mom. Hm...clean up for the CEO of the company or hang with Briyah? There's but one option, mis amigos.

I'm going to be in Israel in 11 DAYS. I am starting to freak, because there is so much shit I have to do before I leave. Called the bank this morning to find out where the hell my credit card bill is loitering at this time of the month. Turns out "there was a glitch," and all the bills are being sent out two weeks behind schedule. Too bad the cool banks aren't that consistent. I'll deal.

Jason was in the back today prancing around in a women's RED speedo one piece. I seriously came freaking close to throwing up I was laughing so hard. Quality.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. So yea. I completely forgot that I have a staff meeting/presentation on Sunday night. This is going to suck ass. I thought I had the entire day to spend in Boulder with the fam/Marc. HOWEVER, I have to give my presentation on the new cust. serv. motto and hand out the shirts Heather unt moi designed at 7:30pm. I hate working on my days off. EH. It'll be like Hanukkah in June, I suppose. The trolls better be grateful.

I need to find time to hang with the Rob-man this next week before Israel. It seems that EVERYONE wants to get together before my trip; as if this is my last week to live. Shit, people. I'm gonna go and have an AWESOME time. I'll be back. :)

OHHH! Dad sealed the deal with the Dead Sea Camel man about a day trip. I'm sorry, but I've been looking forward to the whole CAMEL RIDE IN THE DESERT for freaking ever. Expect at LEAST 30 photos of HOT, Andrea-on-Camel action upon my return. Schweet.

I need to go for a jog in about 5. Seriously feeling TIRED and UNHEALTHY today. Lack of sleepage may contribute to this shmeggie feeling, but it shall soon be doused. Muah.

Rachel, your boyfriend CRACKS me the hell up. More on this later.

I own ONE pair of black socks. This is sad.

Damn, the weather has been nice today. Being stuck inside and forced to slave under fluorescent lights is TORTURE during the summer. Missing the crew and my job back in Estes...sigh. I need to call Shawn.

Found my Tenacious D DVD! CELEBRATION!

And no, I have yet to watch the JB diary, Matt. Eat it.

We're just done.