This is what I hate...

Why oh WHY do I open my mouth at all? By disclosing every single thought that pops into my brain, I make myself appear more and more idiotic.

I have friends making babies and writing their thesis. I have friends with broken bones and regrets. I have friends out of the country, stuck in the middle, and some friends standing still. I am not quite sure where I fit into this mess.

I want to be in Northern Africa right now. I want to sink to my knees in the sand and plant my fists deep into the earth. I long to feel this connection. A connection with something bigger than myself.

Relationships aren't enough. At times I look and feel as though I have things in their place, but its really all a joke. Is it even possible to be 100% sure of where and who you are?

These moments seem to wash over me weekly now.

I want to sell everything and move to a distant land...no familiarities whatsoever. And in these muddy waters I would find myself at home. This fear is nothing more than unparalleled excitement for what could BE.

Who would I find? How long would I last?

But IS my place here? What about ties? What about family? What is my true motivation?