No, I said EXTRA DRY!

THESE AMATEURS!!

Just watched THE CORE. I was just jazzed 'cause I have an eeny crush on the dorky kid from ROAD TRIP and The New Guy. Don't even ask.

Interesting concept.

This migraine won't leave me. Going to rise early tomorrow so I can finish Lysistrata and my photo narrative. I still don't know exactly what I want to do. We shall see, eh?

Why am I not extremely gifted in the sciences? Its just NOT my area.

Andrea's Position on an A-TEAM: Master of disguise and Creator of Diversion--BEAT BOXING CONTEST.

"OMG, I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD READING THAT PLAY! Heehee! I have RED HAIR! LOOK AT ME! LOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Priceless.

A network of lies

I've been a blogging for more than 2 years now. This is crazy.

How far away people seem...and then you run into them, and all your memories come POURING back, and you just want to get OUT a huge ass umbrella. Wow. There were just MANY MANY "ands" in that sentence. Bite my ass, Mrs. Hawkins. I'm sure she'd appreciate that.

Just DON'T try to take pictures when you're drunk, mmmkay? ESPECIALLY in manual mode. Especially in a restaurant.

I'm going to transfer.

BELLINIS! MORE BELLINIS!

This is the most disgusting yet awesome thing ever.

I'm in a mess of myself. And it suits me fine. It has for a while, come to think of it. Sometimes I think that I've never been real.

There's trash on my night stand. Two empty pepsi cans (HEALTHY!), an empty fuzzy navel wine cooler (CLASSY!), a digital camera that needs new batteries, a necklace, a venti-sized Starbuck's cup, empty cd cases, and a bivo.

If I start talking about the shit on my floor, we could be here for an entire week.

Again, I've heard of this "shell of a self." This is how I feel.

Jesus told me so.

i built another temple to a stranger/ i gave away my heart to the rushing wind
i set my course to run right into danger/ sought the company of fools instead of friends

you know i've been unfaithful/ lovers in lines/ while you're turning over tables
with the rage of a jealous kind/ i chose the gallows to the aisle/ thought the love would never find/ hanging ropes will never keep you/ and your love of a jealous kind/ love of a jealous kind

tried to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading/ for solace in the shift of the sinking sand/ i'd rather feel the pain all too familiar/ than be broken by a lover i don't understand/ 'cause i don't understand

one hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars/ if i should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace/ and love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies/ and breaks the back of foolish pride

-joc

Wha?

I need to work on my project tomorrow. Where is my photo log?

All I can say is that my life is very strange...

Mary J Blige is OLD.

"THA DOWN LOW!" Get your slow-jams on two cds or two cassettes!

So weak in the knees, I can hardly speak.

A-TOWN = GHETTO.

Babyface.

January 29th sponsored by PEPSI.

Looked at cars today...

Surfing = fascinating sub-culture.

Wish you were here, Kyle.

How's your Aspen?

Call me, call me, call me

Winds of change are set to blow

The times are a'changin. I think I want to go to school in NY next fall. AGH. I just don't know anymore.

Wow. So THEO COSBY is going to be at CU tomorrow afternoon. YAY MALCOLM JAMAL WARNER! I don't know if I want to go or not. Too awesome.

Wow. Some random chick in photo lab passed the freak OUT today in the middle of an orientation. TRES bizarre. She busted her nose. It was just WEIRD. She just went DOWN.

Auditions are tomorrow. If they are open, I want to see if I can take photos for the narrative project.

The O.C. is on. WHAT IS THIS SHOW? Ugh. I hate television.

Blue eyeliner just needs to leave. Why is the dude from Love Potion No. 9 on this show?

Fell asleep randomly in classes today because of mucho lack of sleep. Not cool. KABUKI just rocks my face off.

How I LOVE psychology majors.

Oh G-d...my dude in photo used to have a Jew-fro. He needs to grow that shit back ASAP.

Yes, I said POON

Patty, do you know what a MUFF is?

I will get 2 hours of sleep tonight. 15 hours of school tomorrow. G-d save me.

NIGHT o NOSTALGIA

I am seriously just fed up with guys. How can it be that I was so incredibly happy this time last week, and tonight I feel like shit?

That's the way this wheel keeps workin, now.

I could be a nun...or could I?

My face is changing.

I want to be home already.

I'm on my way

I think the noodle man has a girlfriend, but she is tres snotty. I could remedy this. He also made 4 separate "pass-by's" whilst I was on the phone with Shawn. A CLEAR attempt at eye contact. AND I found out his name today. Wasn't expecting "TRAVIS." WTF?

I just want to be casual friends with Bill Murray. We'd go to carnivals, buy me a snow-cone, and we'd silently share a ferris wheel ride...

I want to dive into work. Just take a leap. I've nothing else really to live for.

Met some guy today who is going to be a priest. He was staring at my boobs throughout the entire conversation.

Crawl INTO a hole

Guys have feelings? WHAT?!

I need salad.

PAY FOR IT

If you can-can

I need to be getting ready right now. Nicole Kidman did NOT receive an oscar nomination for Cold Mountain. Crazy. But OH YES! There's also people starving, dying, and going to hell, but that won't make it on the news. Ahem.

JUST ERASE THE CRAYON FROM THE WALL!

I had an *intimate* dream about Emery, people. Yes, Kyle. EMERY! Yowza. Bizarre.

Everything is in its place.

My name is John Mattey, and I am an attorney at law/PIRATE!

I'm the only gay eskimo in my tribe.

What to do for my narrative work? I need to talk to Kyle.

I need to call LB.

Ciao.

No, just GO

Class today. And you have no idea.

First of all, it took me 4 HOURS TO GET TO SCHOOL. The 45 min commute, YES, turned into a 4 hour festival of HELL. Thank you, MUCHO SNOW and dumb people on I-25! WEEEEEE! My hair also froze to the window. Ahem.

So as a result of the delay, I missed my first class. $$$

On a LIGHTER NOTE, photo went extremely well. Painfully shy guy that I'm working on seducing. Hey, I NEED a project for 2nd semester. :)

My foot is feeling better. Or it could just be the Frank's hot sauce kicking in.

I feel bizarre.

This may sound extremely corny, but I am soo very much looking forward to MIRACLE. I can't say no to hockey films. I just can't.

School supplies make me happy.

Awake at 1

Wow. The second day of classes and I'm already slacking. I guess when you're not a communication major, you actually have to WORK. Crap.

Had a nice chat with Daniel.

Going back to work Tuesday <--ew. We'll see how that pans out. I need a new backpack.

WHY DO I HEAR THE SUGARPLUM FAIRY SONG?!

One day I will get some sleep. Not today.

Have you smacked the pingu?

And ANOTHER thing

Cold Mountain: Jude Law's hair gets greasier and greasier. I just want to spray that man down with some pantene and CLARIFY that Carolina scalp. Yum.

Anywho...

Church this morning. HOW COME ALL THE HOT MEN ARE MARRIED?!!? WHYYYYYYYY?! Then went to a harp concert---LIKE BUTTAH! So soothing. Then had dinner with friends and headed north for the new hospital open house. IT WAS MADNESS! I was so dizzy from the packed-state of the hospital and all the fufu rich women after-church cologne I thought I was going to pass out.

I'm feeling very ill...

I haven't touched my homework.

I need a new backpack.

I want to calm this anxious beast roaring inside me.

Going on bc?

I AM SO COLD.

Never satisfied.

Give up the Ghost

I miss Kyle.

What is it? Is it that I won't settle? This boredom is taking over me. And there are moments when such times feel so familiar. I've lived them. I've lived a life and I've served my time. Its just never enough, is it? It never is.

Its not a rut, I tell myself. Its never being satistfied. Is this a good thing? Is this ultimately dangerous? What am I trying to find, wildly searching through brush and mud? Drums are in my ears. Sweat on my brow.

Difficult to describe.

Is it not feeling whole? Shattered into a million pieces, and I must roam the earth to find every last shard?

At times like this I feel restless.

Get out

WHY in the HELL am I dreaming about you?! ABOUT YOU, out of all the people I have known in my life! Its sick, that's what it is. But more importantly....why do I like it?

I need to call Tif.

I don't want to.

Bought my books yesterday. All thin and paperback, and they cost me $300+. How I love school. My photo supplies alone are going to cost me $300. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! This gig is cleaning me out.

What else?

Feeling like shit. Don't want to take a t3, 'cause I'll end up sleeping like a log and I won't be able to drive my tractor. HOWEVER, we've done run out of advil.

My parents are dragging me to some church tomorrow. Joy.

I need to get homework done.

ROCKAPELLA!

I am such a dork.

I'm hip to HIPPA!

P. Adven open house tomorrow.

I miss zee rains down in Afffffrica.

Captain Kangaroo, you will be missed.

Love it

Seminar with Jon. Princess Pride. Good times.

I am soooo tired.

FOUND MY CAMERA!!! JOY!!

I need to purchase books tomorrow. Blah. And photography supplies. OY. Too much.

For now, I need rest.

Todays the daaaay...when dreaming ends.

Either far or soon

First day back at class. I love how I can always identify the most annoying, ass kissing person in class within the first 10 minutes. I'll break it down for you:

Theatre: Annoying chick with PEPPERONI for a surname. In a large lecture hall, I could still hear her nagging voice telling the world about all her acting classes and how she works at a bakery. She continued to talk about how people come in and ask her why she isn't fat, ya know, working at a bakery and all. *FAKE LAUGH!* But not to worry. How does she off-set the sweetness of her job? Never fear. There's a Burger King in the same parking lot, so she can satiate her salty needs.

English: No worries. Everyone is from a different country or 30 years old. Downside: this class meets in a FREAKING CLOSET. I'll most likely come out of this class learning Vietnamese.

SEX and Gender: This was a fast one. Hobbled in *another large hall* and this chick in a green sweater HUGS the professor when she comes in. Nasty. She also sits RIGHT next to me, and breaks out a CAPRI SUN and a BAG OF CHEESE. She also has sunflower seeds...the kind minus the shell. I really don't know why, but this made me so ill. Andrea (the prof) later asked the class what we thought we'd be learning this semester in this course, and of course Miss CAPRI SUN starts rambling off her "I'M A SOC/FILM CRITIC LIT MAJOOOOR TRANSFER STUDENT, AND NONE OF MY CREDITS TRANSFERRED SUCCESSFULLY" rhetoric. However, I do have salvation in this awesome girl named Aquira that sits next to moi. I told her my philosophy about the annoying ass person in every class, and proceeded to give her the knowing poke under my desk *not that kind* when cheese chick was rambling off her mouth. I thought she was going to die trying to stifle her laughter. Badass.

Photography: No troll identified. Mucho cute guys in this class. HEY, CAN I BORROW YOUR GRAY CARD? Yes. Yes, you may. There's this guy named JETHRO in my class...walked in the studio and asked me, "Uh...this is photo, right?" And I replied with a resounding, "Nope, this is Transgender 101." The old dude sitting in the back of the class cracked a disapproving smile, but I gave him the sweetest look of death in my defense. Sucka.

Who ya gon call?

Okay, so here's the lowdown. And if you haven't seen COLD MOUNTAIN, do not read any further, mmkay?

I am so ticked at this ending. Ticked. The film was fabulous. Brilliant. But the ending?! WHY? Jude just didn't deserve to be taken out. But the Jack White appearance was cracking me up. Seriously.

I am REALLY feeling my foot right now. Ugh. It hurts like a freaking mudge, but I just took down some meds, so I should be oot in about 20 minutes. Thank the good L-rd.

Had an extraordinary time yesterday with Jon. Brilliant.

School starts on Thursday. I need a new backpack, and I need to locate my camera asap. Its floating about my mess of a room somewhere. My room is actually not all that bad, but it could be better. It could always be better.

I need new furniture. And it needs to be clinical and dust-free. I see no point in decorating. Why? Its because I MOVE SO MUCH. I would, however, consider an Orlando Bloom wall. And.....I am in middle school. WOO.

A rush to the head

I'm feeling so good

Crutch/Crotch

BOOM CHOW HEEEEY!

How I love that video.

The foot is killing me today.

Meredith is here, and there are most likley unauthorized activities going down under this one roof...CREEPY.

Odwalla Blackberry Shake? Um yes.

BLIMP ON FIRE

I have absolutely nothing to add.

NOTHING.

Where are you, Anthony? I need my dose of zany Wisconsin taco-bell shenanigans!

HOLA, NORAHHHH!

I'd LOVE to solve the puzzle, PAT!

Heaven's gonna burn your eyes

Do you hold it near?

DAMN, WHERE IS MY GOLDFRAPP ALBUM?!

And it seems that I experience these things at 3am, where I realize that my life is insignificant on the grander scale.

I'm taking time off to volunteer at the hospital. It seems as though my life is full of self-gratification, spending money, and all around selfishness. Really. I need to fucking kick my own ass. Two times.

I am overcome.

This holy water....its in my lungs

Dumps like a truck

Yay for mucho quantities of very little blogging.

Its the medicine.

I have a headache the size of texas residing over my right eye. Knock me OUT, please?

I hope you're happy...now that you're doing this.

Robin Hood auditions are NEXT WEEK. NEXT WEEK, and fight work is indeed included. I don't know whether or not I should still audition. Sigh. Damn foot.

Is it wrong to enjoy the extra affection one receives *generally* whilst being down? Is this so wrong?

Fun times with Jon tomorrow. I am so jazzed.

I need to find my camera.

HEADACHE

Brusha brusha brusha...

Sing to me, Pippin.

It has come to this

Yep. My foot is broken. It could always be worse, tho.

School also starts this week, but I'll manage to get around somehow. SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A P.A.!

For the love of G-d...

Not flying

Laundry needs to be done.

Where has all my underwear gone?!

Ugh

Messed my ankle up FREAKING BIG TIME. Not cool.

Had a fun outing with Igor.

LOTR 3 viewing. Orlando Bloom wasn't in it enough, and the ending was too happy. Sam was the star. But satiating all around.

Going to have x-rays tomorrow. SICK.

I am so tired.

Calling into work...

Working on state petition tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Don't live to regret it

Kyle had surgery last night on his knee...yay plates and pin style! OR NOT. I wish I could be there for him right now. I am such a bastard friend.

Investors came today, and I don't see why we all have to kiss so much ASS. Its ridiculous.

I am so so so so so so so so so TIRED right now. Almost passed out in Wal-Mart whilst sniffing possible deoderant candidates.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SLEEP.

Busy weekend.

I'm late

So what's new, ey?

Talked to Jonathan for mucho horas anoche. GOOD times. And I mean good times. So good they were SCARY good times.

I dreamt about Stephen Colbert.

Hearing stories about people still doing the Indiana thing seem so far away. Memories of high school seem so entirely distant that I often believe they never happened. I read them in a novel once. I saw it on film. But not me. I didn't live it.

Perhaps I've pushed everything so far down that it seems this way. But this fact doesn't depress me. When I came out to Colorado, this was the point. TO START again. To wipe the slate, and put away all the madness and stench still clinging to me from what we'd all gone through. But now its far away.

But if I turn over a familiar stone, it comes flooding back. Flooding back as in coming at me from all directions, and it seems difficult to decipher. 4 years. That was all. So much.

Dreams, the way we planned 'em. IF we work in tandem.

WHERE IS MY GAVIN CD?

Just you and I....

Dreux Dominick...where the HELL are you, my hard rockin' amigo?

Darla Dougherty. I will never forget you. Are you in Kansas? Are you a pro-rollerskater? Have you gained 50 pounds?? I want to know...and oh so badly.

So now I get ready for the job I loathe. I need to pay tuition this week. WOO WOOOOO!

OR not.

So constricting.

Natural Selection? TRASH.

Smokers Vary by State:
The number of current smokers was highest in Kentucky (32.6%) followed by Alaska (29.4%), West Virginia (28.4), Tennessee (27.8%), and Indiana (27.7%).

When the unwanted STAY

My shift button is sticking.

Give me a less than, NOT a comma!

Bizarre morning. WHAT IS THIS INFATUATION WITH THIS WORD?

Ewan McGregor is just what I want.

One must NOT wear 4-inch boots for more than a standing-hour at a time.

Brought out new merch at the store today. GOOD STUFF. WHY OH WHY am I obsessed with pink? I'm not getting this. PINK SWEATER VEST!

Button.

CHIK-FIL-A COUPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Kite surfing? Skating? Grass humping?

I am starting to appreciate my new wardrobe. We have our OUTDOOR and BUSINESS attire covered. NO MORE TRASH. T-shirts are for bedtime anymore. I cannot leave the house without a turtleneck or button down. I look older. SCARF. I love the scarf.

AND if you care to find me...

NORTH FACE. I just need a shell.

WATER-PROOF, WIND-PROOF, BREATHE-ABLE!

This looks GOOD ON YOU! <--lie

He's getting married. And has a puppy.

HE'S old.

Metro?

Live crabs.

I believe I have come to terms with the fact that perhaps there isn't a "ONE PERSON" for everyone. What happened to WOO-ING?? Someone just write me some letters; hand-written on delicate stationary with coffee and cheese crisp grease stains. That's what I want. I want so little.

I have so much.

SPRITE.

I need to eliminate the sugar.

Bought a burgundy v-stretch tee with huge bronze pendant to go with...cas or dress! Cas it with a smart denim jacket! OR PAIR it up with our metro-line boot-cut/flare black pant! EXQUISITE!

Wear to work.

My boss is gone for 10 days. I don't know what I think about this.

School, I demand you to start.

Robin Hood auditions in 2 weeks. I am jazzed.

TIGHTS.

You don't know me, but I know you. And I'm in love with you, and you're tha gal I'm gonna marry!

And I will match them in renown.

I can't even describe it

Tonight was the most bizarre night of my life.

Thing with Craig-sushi, saki, eating live crabs, and BIG FISH. I love you, Ewan.

3 cups of coffee with Wes at 1am- some guy ran out on bill, waiters went to chase him, dude pulled out a 9-inch knife on his ass. Good/great/grand to see Wes. He looks tired. I'm slap happy. Too much coffee.

Its COLD.

2:30AM- get on I-25, its CLOSED. I don't know any other way home. Follow 4 detours. Get SEVERELY lost. Pull several bitch turns. Call parents at 3:30am for directions. Feel like SUPERIOR DOUCHE BAG of the year. And we're only a week in. I've never been so happy to see Parker road. Struggling to stay awake on drive home. Coffee + saki = NO!

I have to work SOON. Only doing 4 hours, but I haven't been this tired in months. G-D HELP ME, PLEASE!

4:46 AM- lips chapped. Thankful to be home. I don't deserve my parents.

OBSERVATIONS: Craig is super cool. Purple glasses? PSYCHIC CONNECTION? Good film.

I am so HUNGRY.

Look to the western skies.

YOU FREAKING ATE MY SOFT TACO! YOU WILL PAY! WITH YOUR SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL!

Again, people from high school coming back to haunt me. I think I deserve a little credit, dontcha think? Apparently others don't. I'll shutup, but one day this will all come back. It will ALL come back.

WE'RE GOING TO do it. Amy is the inspiration.

DON'T TRY TO CHURCH IT UP, SON!

Latest pleasure: peanut butter balls, care of Eli.

STRANGERS WITH CANDY. Fandango?

Season II is just the best I know.

Carry on my wayward soooooon!

*Insert black mesh t-shirt*

Right back where we started from

What is Jason Schwartzman doing right now?

Going out tonight, ya'll. Margarita night! WOO WOO! I am a 50 year-old woman. Salsa, anyone?

I keep purchasing, and what does it do for me? Fill my closet, and not this void. But underwear with hearts just CALLS MY NAME! Sad. Valentine's Day approaches, and my retail world just shoves it in my face and forces me to buy more pink. PINK. PINK. BUY PINK.

Okay.

I want sushi this weekend.

I need to make my bed.

SO MANY PEOPLE.

I think its kinda funny, I think its kinda sad that the dreams where I'm dying are the best I ever have.

I had a nightmare that someone made me have bangs last night. NO BANGS!

Or DOES she?

Under Armour

I just LIKE the men in the tech shop. Red hair. Nose rings.

Markings.

I can relax tonight. I'm just enjoying the THOUGHT of this.

IT WILL GROW.

Long, overdue visit to OG.

I am so done with retail. I wash my hands of it.

I am too jazzed about school this semester. WINDS OF CHANGE.

Why am I obsessed with the color pink? Bought a new suit.

SOPHIE SAYS ITS FABULOUS! CURVY, BOLD, AND SENSUOUS! I'm thinking Johnny Fabu-lotus!

At the mere mention of your name...

My father is Ben Affleck.

OH MY GOD, YA'LL! I LOVE CARLA! SASS!

Half a dozen women that I think I wanna marry

Push your SHIFT button 5 times.

And may I just say...SWISHER SWEETS, YA'LL.

That will never get old for me.

WHY oh WHY is he getting married?! Stupid boys.

So blah. Ran home for my *LUNCH BREAK*, so I need to head back to Gart's soon. The ad breaks tonight, so we all know how much fun that is to set back up. Woo WOO, YA'LL!

Joni sent me the photos of all the army guys, and I am cracking a great deal. TOO bizarre and awesome. I gotsta get me one o' dems army guys!

Wow. Saw Amelie last night for the first time. I need it NOW. NOW, I SAY!

SCISSOR KICK!

Swisher.

I have a migraine the size of a classic double.

NAME TAG

MONTAG

Sweets.

I need to brush my teeth. But not before...

Chewin' on Tin Foil

Ya'll don't even KNOW.

SWISHER SWEETS!

LB wanted me to drive all the way to the bloody LAKEWOOD MILLS to do inventory until 2am. No spank you for $7.50 an hour.

Anywho, worked today. Took Kyle to the airport yesterday morning before work. SAD TIMES. And now when I think back on our time we had together, it doesn't even seem real. Sick sad world.

On a lighter note, I am def. auditioning for ROBIN HOOD. We'll see/experience the ghetto-ness of it all at the end of January. For now I get to worry about the fact that A. I am starting up school in a week or so and B. Why I have yet to receive a bill for this semester. Those trolls best not dis-enroll me arse.

Anywho, have a friend sending me all these photos of the lovely and available men in her boyfriend's platoon. YAY army men. In Iraq. Hm...perhaps having a boyfriend that's in the military would actually work out for me. I wouldn't see him enough to get sick of him (number one), and NUMERO two, the actual time we WOULD spend together would NOT be wasted (insert MUAHAHAHAHAH here). Love every minute of it.

Miss you, Kyle.

FANDANGO?

I'm sorry, but Josh is just an attractive guy. Yes, he may CHEW *cringe*, but he's got the look. And his mouth won't develop cancer for at least another 5 years. Mucho to ponder, people...

THAT'S HILARIOUS! I'm sad.

A grand ol' OPRY day of skiing. Of course, without the bankruptcy.

I'm tired.

BRING ON THE LCD'S, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'LL!

Random chick in King Soopers: If ya'll are gonna get cigarettes, get SWISHER SWEETS, YA'LL!
And yes, I did indeed notice the double use-age of YA'LL in that sentence.

ANYWHO, Kyle and I are chillin back at the estate, restin' our severely bruised shins. WOOOOOOOO! SWISHER SWEEETS!

BUUUuuuuut, we are soon heading back out in the arctic tundra to retrieve 1. Snack foods 2. Starbuck's Coffee and 3. A Classic Blockbuster Cinema Featur(ette). DVD STYLLLLE!

Sidenote: Andrea has to be up at 4am to re-work and purify the apparel floor of the Wadsworth Gart Sports. WHY?

I'M SAD.

Our lungs hurt.

SHYLER'S BARBEQUE?!!?!??!?!?!?! OH GOD, how trashy.

ONION STRINGS WITH JELLO!!

Alcohol just empties the wallet. And how.

Time to exeeet.

*bow*

I SAID MAUVE!!

Smells like BAJA FRESH!

Bizarre day.

Ray died.

Going skiing in a few hours.

Saw Bad Santa this evening.

Cookie Doughn't You Want Some is better with CHOCOLATE ice cream.

The end.

Not Going to Make It

I feel like shit.

Just finished watching the GOOD GIRL, and I feel disgusting. Its a fab flick, but I seriously feel as though I could puke right now from the pain and agony within the film. The alcohol in my blood doesn't help.

I feel like my teeth are rotting out of my head.

Really hating where I am.

Spending money is so incredibly shallow. Everytime I buy something now, I feel like I give away a piece of my soul.

So much to tell. So much apathy.