What's YO Flava?
MUAHAHAH! I so got finished with all my crap before 12 am. SWEET! OOOO! For my fund. comm class, I had to fill out a questionnaire to find out my "style 'o' lovin' " out of storge, agape, eros, mania, ludus, and pragma. According to the results, my style is AGAPE. Here is some more information about various "styes" of love, compiled by Robert W. Birch, Ph.D. What is your style?
Storge is friendship love. A storge lover says of the loved on, "He/she is my very best friend." This love is based on common interests, similar values, mutual goals and compatible personalities. Storge loving builds slowly and is not complicated by sexual chemistry. Sex is not important in the development of the relationship and is not the central to it. Although this style of loving lacks excitement and passion, it brings a great sense of security and stability. Of all the styles of loving, storge loving between friends is the most lasting.
The agape lover is giving and forgiving. Agape lovers believe that loving someone means putting the other's welfare above their own. Bill Murry described it on a 1980 Late Night Show with David Letterman, when he said, "If you really love someone you try to do for them what they don't know they need done." Too much giving and forgiving, however, can approach the level of martyrdom, and resentment might begin to build. Lopsided self-sacrifice and too much forgiving of bad behavior can lead to feelings of being taken for granted and of being abused. Many agape lovers who have gone to extremes have remarked, "I'm sick of it. I give and give and never get back. I overlook everything and feel walked on. I'm burned out and just can't give any more." Agape lovers thrive only with an appreciative partner who gives in return.
Mania loving is being madly in love. This high energy loving adds excitement to a relationship, but too much madness leads to possessiveness and jealous. It is as thought the intense mania lover is never sure that the loved one will not leave, and they must cling tightly. Partners of mania lovers might initially be thrilled to be loved and needed so intensely, but they are likely to end up feeling rigidly controlled. Mania love does not allow a partner to grow, as the mania lover feels at risk when they are unable to control their partner. Too much mania becomes oppressive, controlling and ultimately destructive.
Pragma love is practical. Often it is like falling in love with your head, not your heart. A true pragma lover goes out with a mental shopping list of the qualities required in a prospective partner. The list is usually very practical, including such things as the ideal partner's social status, occupation, material possessions, and level of income. A man who buys an expensive car to attract women is shopping for a pragma lover. The father who gives his daughter the advice, "It is just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor one," has given a pragma message. Indeed, the first thing that attracts her to a man might be his car.
The pragma message can be found in an old English proverb, dating back to 1670, that states "Who marrieth for love without money hath good nights and sorry days."
Ludus lovers are the game players. The love the singles bars that become their playground. Ludus lovers will come on strong, being well practiced in the art of seduction. However, it is very difficult for a ludus lover to make a lasting commitment. It is ironic that the ludus lover is most likely to end a relationship when it is at its best. Since it is the pursuit and not the conquest that is exciting, commitment holds no attraction. As a relationship becomes secure and the initial passion fades, ludus lovers become bored and will often begin a new relationship even before ending an old one. By overlapping relationships, the game player can guarantee the continual excitement of a fresh pursuit.
The sixth style of loving is Eros or erotic love. Eros lovers are typically romantic and value intimacy, both emotional and physical. They are likely to believe in love at first sight and will talk of feeling a strong physical attraction to their partner... a sexual chemistry. Sexual behavior is likely to occur between two eros lovers much earlier in a relationship than between two storge lovers. While the ludus lover might push for sexual relations early in a relationship, it is a matter of conquest and scoring, but the eros lover's desire to be sexual is to connect and to share the intimacy of mutual sexual satisfaction.